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Not John

Hi

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I'm a bit overdue coming to this introduction considering I've been apart of this community for little over 2 weeks now, but I still wish to let people know who I am.

 

My name is John, i'm 20 years and and I have numerous hobbies to say the least. For one, i grew a hobby in playing on this server and have so far come to enjoy the community and the people I'm surrounded with. Hobbies I have outside the game include basketball, soccer, and music. Me being from the great white north (Canada), I guess it comes to no surprise that my favorite basketball team is, in fact the Toronto Raptors and has been since I was a kid. I don't watch soccer (or football) much but I do have a competitive spirit/ history with the beautiful game. I'm of an Iraqi background but born in Mississauga and raised around all Ontario.

 

I'd consider myself a good person with good morals to say the least. I try to take care of my friends and family as much as possible, I try and help the people in my community rather than diminish, I want to exceed expectations when it comes to people who trust me and have loyalty towards me, as I have for them. 

 

There isn't much to say about me really, I haven't had many real friends when I started school and hadn't till the heights of high school. I grew a great bond/ friendship with one particular person in my life that I have always considered to make me the person I am today and i'm grateful that he had come into my life when he did. Unfortunately, I had only known him for a few weeks before he took his own life which had taken a toll on me considering to this day, I feel like i'm the reason he did what he did; not because of my actions towards him, but because of my inaction resulting in his feeling of loneliness and fighting struggles with himself on his own. I blame myself for this because he had done exactly the opposite of me when I was alone, he had always made sure I was okay and that he was always there for me no matter what, but I couldn't give him that back which has destroyed me emotionally. I try my hardest now to let people know that i'd always be there for them no matter what it is, no matter how small that i'd always be there for them. I've had another friend pass to suicide even more recently which had made the struggle of forgiving myself even more difficult. Although I hadn't known him personally, but rather in game it still hurts knowing I could've found a way to help them. 

 

I joined this community to rebuild myself, try and keep away from the messes I created within my emotions and rebuild my character. All my life I've had a struggling battle by myself and countless of negative thoughts and actions towards myself, harming me physically and even more emotionally. I've been trying to learn from my mistake by trying to involve myself to a community as open-armed as this, I don't just want to be known as someone who plays the game and helps the players in the game, I want to try and be bigger and better for you guys; I understand there are somethings people don't share with each other within the game and decide to deal with it themselves to keep it as an escape from their problems when they're in here. But sometimes it's too much, and best believe there's someone who wants to listen and wants to help you. 

 

If anyone needs anything they wish to get off their chest i'm always available to talk, just let me know and i'll be there. I know i'm just a player and I don't really have much reputation in this community as I've only been here for so long, but I believe it is never too late to make an impact on someone's life, no matter what position you're put in. If by any curiosity you wish to know more about me and who I am, I'm always open to chat about anything :)

 

All love, and take care 

 

 

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hey steady, nice to see you've joined the forums my man :D 

It's wonderful that you had such a great friendship, with the bond empowering you to inspire others; that is a foundation we all should aspire to have. Creating positive and meaningful interactions is an opportunity we all endeavour to fulfil. I desiderate the solace you overlook. You should not form a basis of conjecture. I have spoken to you a few times ingame and it is immediately evident that you are a good person, and I hope you understand that. We would all experience guilt regarding unanswered questions and what ifs in these situations, but it is so important to let go of the feeling of culpability. It is so hard to do but once you achieve that, you will be free of your negative thoughts concerning the past. To live life in regret, is to live a burdened life, and you do not deserve that. The best thing you can do is achieve what you've now set out to do, for with that you will realise that you are a good person. 

i am glad to see you on here, and look forward to getting to know you more, and i wish you all the best my man

 

 

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1 hour ago, Doctor Robert said:

hey steady, nice to see you've joined the forums my man :D 

It's wonderful that you had such a great friendship, with the bond empowering you to inspire others; that is a foundation we all should aspire to have. Creating positive and meaningful interactions is an opportunity we all endeavour to fulfil. I desiderate the solace you overlook. You should not form a basis of conjecture. I have spoken to you a few times ingame and it is immediately evident that you are a good person, and I hope you understand that. We would all experience guilt regarding unanswered questions and what ifs in these situations, but it is so important to let go of the feeling of culpability. It is so hard to do but once you achieve that, you will be free of your negative thoughts concerning the past. To live life in regret, is to live a burdened life, and you do not deserve that. The best thing you can do is achieve what you've now set out to do, for with that you will realise that you are a good person. 

i am glad to see you on here, and look forward to getting to know you more, and i wish you all the best my man

 

 

Thank you for the kind words, i really appreciate it. I've understood how important it is to forgive yourself during situations like these but sometimes you feel you don't really deserve it.

 

I've been trying to do so for quite a while but every time I try to do so, it just all comes back full circle. Again, thank you for sharing these kind words it means a lot knowing someone understands.

 

Much love ❤️

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Hi John welcome, think i seen you ingame the other day, add me if you wish i don't mind pvming maybe one time :p user is : Brit ftw

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